Homestuck: Act 6 Act 6
|start = |previous = Act 6 Intermission 5: I'M PUTTING YOU ON SPEAKER CRAB. |next = Act 7 }} Act 6 Act 6 of Homestuck is the final part of Act 6 and the current act. It does not yet have a known title. The sub-sub-acts follow Caliborn's retelling and summarization of the story so far, while the sub-sub-intermissions focus on the rest of the characters in their current predicaments. Click the " " to open the page from Homestuck. * Disc 2 ends and is removed. Act 6 Act 6 and Act 7 are shown to be remaining. * Caliborn stomps on the display and proceeds to insert " ", which looks suspiciously like his illustration of Jane. Sadly, the disc shortly stops spinning with a new message: " " The next page indicates that we have come to " " of Homestuck. Caliborn laughs maniacally with a background of Andrew Hussie's face crossed out (eleven times, naturally). Act 6 Act 6 Act 1 * Caliborn takes over the website, including changing the site theme to match his color scheme, and begins to tell the next part of his story: after ascending to god tier and scaling the echeladder, he acquired various achievement badges, including the "Skeleton Key" badge, which enabled him to open any lock, allowing him to take over the narrative permanently. Now that he is in charge, he plans to critique the previous chapters of Homestuck, starting by creating a short, poorly-drawn recreation of Act 1 filled with insults towards the story and its readers. After finishing, he mocks the readers' desire to see what the other characters are doing and starts laughing manically. As he laughs, he inadvertently hits the Caps Lock key on his keyboard, opening a hatch behind him. He is revealed to be inside a Sburb Station resembling the interior of WV's Skyship Base. He discovers that it contains toy horses, two how-to-draw manuals, and the "Act 6 Act 6 Supercartridge Expansion Pack", which will allow the readers to return to the main story in between Caliborn's rants. Angered by Hussie's attempt to circumvent his control, Caliborn fills the cartridge with special stardust and candy corn, then jams it into a console slot. Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 1 * Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 1 begins. The B1 kids' planets are deposited into the B2 Incipisphere, and the Condesce-controlled Jade rides the meteor as it passes through a Skaian defense portal and arrives in the dying B2 universe, then takes hold of the Earth with her powers. Unfortunately, due to Caliborn's sabotage of the cartridge, the remaining four minutes of the animation are destroyed by glitches. Brief scenes are visible of the Condesce-controlled Jane apparently creating Gcat, as well as Jade kicking John. The reader is invited to start piecing together what happened in that missing footage by clicking on planets on the Incipisphere map. ** Dave pesters Karkat and the two realize they are on different planets: Dave and the Mayor are on LOHAC and Karkat and Kanaya are on LOFAF. They try to remember how they got there, but the last thing they remember is Jade sending them to LOMAX. Dave wonders where John is. ** Dave talks to Kanaya, who confirms that she also has experienced the same memory loss. She says that Rose and Terezi are on LOLAR and that the two Seers have figured out what happened to them. Dave reads Rose's description of the events and says that it is incomprehensible. ** Rose's description is shown, but the majority of the text has been censored by glitches, leaving Dave unable to understand it. The reader, however, is able to see little snippets of text that are not covered, and a [http://bladekindeyewear.tumblr.com/post/53002453932/complete-deobfuscation-of-roses-text very thorough yet unofficial translation] was made: *** *** *** *** *** ((could be more here)) *** *** *** *** *** *** ** John Egbert has gone missing. * The map zooms in towards Derse and a Character Select Screen appears, with Jane and Jade as the two options. **If Jane is selected: *** Jane walks into Jake's cell. A conversation begins, but this branch of the story is degraded by glitches and the dialoglog cannot be opened. **If Jade is selected: *** Jade walks into Roxy's cell. She says that the two of them have much to discuss, holding up the folder containing the Condesce's secret plan. * Jade orders Roxy to read the folder's contents again. Roxy attempts to change the subject by asking about Jade's relationship to Jake and questioning her evil status, but Jade does not tolerate her behavior and shoves the folder into her face. Roxy opens the folder and says that what the Condesce wants her to do - create a new Matriorb out of nothing - is still impossible. Jade explains that "Rogue of Void" means "one who steals nothing," so Roxy is capable of creating anything by stealing the essence of nothingness from it. After Roxy is still unwilling to create it, Jade explains what the Matriorb is and its role in the Condesce's plan, then says that she will kill Roxy repeatedly unless she obeys orders. Roxy makes an attempt to create the Matriorb and manages to conjure up a Perfectly Generic Object; Jade says Roxy needs to practice using her powers to create more advanced objects. * Jade announces that she has to go look for John, who has concealed his presence from her with his Breath powers. After giving Roxy one last reminder to keep working, Jade teleports away. * Another Character Select Screen appears, this time with LOHAC, LOFAF, and a glitchy LOLAR as the options. **If LOHAC is selected: *** Dave returns to his apartment and reminisces about various things, and he finds some old " " he took from years ago. He dismisses them as " " at first, but gradually finds them funnier and funnier until he is gasping and crying with laughter. At the peak of Dave's hysterical laughter, John teleports into the scene. *** John only talks to Dave briefly, and disappears shortly after appearing. Jade then enters the room and tells Dave to come with her. *** Jade teleports Dave to his alchemiter, where they alchemize a weapon that is capable of harming - a repaired Caledfwlch, alchemized from Dave's broken Royal Deringer and a magic cue ball. **If LOFAF is selected: *** Karkat and Kanaya meet Grimbark Jade and Jane. Jade shows them the miniaturized Earth she took from B2 and explains that the Condesce plans to use it as the homeworld of her new empire. To help advance the plan, Jade asks the two trolls to speak with Echidna about obtaining the Genesis Frog Jade created, which had fallen into the forge three years ago, as the denizen refuses to give it to Jade and will only talk to another hero of Space, who could only be Kanaya. She also requested that the Knight who helped Kanaya be present. In other words, Karkat. The trolls mock Jade and refuse to help her, so she reveals that Jane is capable of resurrecting the dead, but can only do so once per person - then has Jane demonstrate it by stabbing Karkat in the chest. John arrives, witnesses the stabbing and screams in horror (a callback to Jake's reaction to Trickster Mode in A6A5A2). *** Karkat dies and John continues screaming. Jade notices John and tackles him. *** Jane uses her powers and brings Karkat back to life. John sighs with relief. *** John teleports again, escaping from Jade, and she howls in rage before also leaving the planet. **If LOLAR is selected: *** The two Seers react negatively to LOLAR's brightness: the hungover Rose covers her face with a pillow while Terezi wishes that her eyesight wasn't so perfectly restored. *** They talk briefly about their respective malaise and what course of action they should take, but Rose's speech is again affected by glitches and Terezi asks her to stop talking. *** A cloud of purple glitches is seen beside Rose, and she is suddenly wearing Terezi's red shades. Terezi glares in her direction in shock and anger. The glitches begin to multiply and cover Rose's house until John arrives, blows them away with his Breath powers, and flies over to Rose and Terezi. *** John talks to Rose about his ability to turn into wind, then reminds Terezi that she had jokingly threatened to while they were all on LOMAX. Rose wants to know how he is able to remember the missing events, so he explains his random teleporation and how he now seems to be "unstuck" in reality, able to alter past events that weren't supposed to be changed. He briefly recounts the events on LOMAX, saying that they had planned to look for the Alpha kids and were preparing scouting expeditions when Jade arrived and separated them again. Rose tells John to locate the Alpha kids and inform them of their arrival; when he asks if she has a message he can pass along to Roxy, Rose struggles to come up with something meaningful to say. John and Terezi both notice Jade arriving nearby. *** John and Jade teleport away just as Rose thinks of a message to send Roxy. Frustrated, Rose slumps down, only to discover that her velvet pillow is not where she left it. Gamzee quietly honks from behind the statue of Zazzerpan, while Terezi angrily growls. * All three Jack Noirs, as well as Dirk and PM, head into the B2 incipisphere. Dirk begrudgingly contacts ARquiusprite to ask what's happening in the session, who proceeds to explain how Jane has achieved perfection by melding with an AI, and then launch into a discussion about his fascination with milk. * Dirk interrupts ARquius' milk talk to voice his displeasure with the sprite's off-topic rambling and to ask for tactical information. ARquius triangulates Dirk's position and estimates that it will take three hours for him to reenter the incipisphere. ARquius then reveals that he has been talking to Davesprite and says that he and Davesprite have been getting along nicely due to their mutual status as rejected alternate versions of their alpha counterparts. He recommends that Dirk talk to the real Dave so they can experience a similar kind of bond. The conversation is broken up when Dirk gets affected by the glitches. Another [http://bladekindeyewear.tumblr.com/post/57011103112/arquiusprites-text-deobfuscated-upd8-jul-31 very thorough yet unofficial translation] was made for this page: ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** * Another character select screen appears, and like the opening Flash of the Act it breaks out of the panel. Hovering over the three options displays: **LOHAC, with Dave and Jade facing each other with swords (respectively, the Caledfwlch and Cutlass of Zillywair) **LOFAF, with Kanaya appearing to stand off against Jane **LOLAR, with Rose and Terezi staring at something in the distance *The last two options, however, are severely glitched and will prompt an error noise in response to attempting to click them. Left with only one path to explore, the reader proceeds with the story as Jade and Dave discuss Kiddie Camper Handysash badges briefly, with Jade mentioning a universal specibus badge. She then proceeds to tell Dave that, as the one who needs to deal the final blow to , he needs to be more battle-ready. In order to achieve this, she challenges him to a swordfight, augmented by their respective god tier powers. Dave refuses, and even states that he's giving up time travel for good. * Dave states his belief that the only way to master time travel is to never use it, because actually using it results in knowing about tragic events before they occur and having to live with the knowledge that they will happen. He refuses to fight because he is unable to make himself care about a villain he has no personal vendetta against. A frustrated Jade says that Dave may have more personal issues than Davesprite, and when Dave inquires into what she means by that they argue until she reveals that Davesprite broke up with her due to his own personal problems. Dave claims that Davesprite's issues are entirely separate from his and that their respective situations are totally different, but Jade is no longer interested in arguing. Instead, believing that the only way to make him comply is to hurt people he cares about, she goes over to the Mayor, ignoring Dave's demands that she stay away from him. * Jade kicks WV off the roof and towards the lava below. Dave jumps down after him to save him. * Dave swoops down and manages to grab WV in time. As he comforts the Mayor, an onlooking Jade asks herself why being a bad guy is so hard. * As Dave and WV fly away, Dave gets contacted by Dirk, but the glitches prevent Dave from understanding Dirk or even figuring out who he is: he mistakenly believes that Dirk is Davesprite due to their identical text color. He tells Dirk to try again later when there are fewer glitches and ends the chat. There is also a [http://bladekindeyewear.tumblr.com/post/57408916011/several-people-have-already-decoded-the-latest very thorough yet unofficial translation] for this segment: ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** * The glitchy character select screen appears again, with the middle path selectable. Kanaya angrily confronts Jane about killing Karkat and eggs her on, daring Jane to kill her with healing magic. * Jane begins to communicate in actual sentences rather than single-word orders. Kanaya questions this and Jane says that she is all business when it comes to the Condesce's empire, then proves it by offering to sell Kanaya the troll blood "potions" collected by Gamzee, this time marked up to 420 million boondollars. Kanaya's thirst for blood results in her being unable to refuse the offer and buying every bottle Jane offers to her. * The character select screen returns again, with the LOHAC story once again the only selectable choice. At first, it appears to be identical to the previously seen events beginning on , but the past becomes rewritten when John appears above Dave and Jade, derailing Dave's rant about time travel. * John, Dave, and Jade have a lengthy discussion about the situation, with Dave saying that it feels wrong to his Time player instinct, and culminating in Jade telling John that the moment is ruined. They are then interrupted when Dave gets an . * The select screen returns once more with the LOLAR path now the only selectable option. Terezi has walked away from Rose, and is standing at her alchemiter, claiming to be doing " " when asked by Rose. Rose talks to herself, attempts to figure out the Condesce's motive for putting the two Seers on the same planet. She then wonders if she will be able to complete her personal quest and "play the rain," as the quest was seemingly designed for her 13-year-old self to finish and she has become a different person over the past three years. Finally, she elects to stop stalling and have a conversation with Kanaya. * Rose contacts Kanaya and asks if she wants to discuss Rose's alcohol abuse; however, Kanaya is distracted by Jane's potion selling and ends the conversation early, alluding to the fact that she herself has a problem as well. Meanwhile, Terezi alchemizes a red blindfold for herself using her glasses and a scarf from Rose's room, then ties it around her head and walks away. Rose asks where she is going and Terezi simply replies " }}." * The select screen makes its return and Hussie, disgusted by the constant glitching, reposts Aranea's leprechaun lecture in full (with the section on reproduction glitched out save for a few snippets reminiscent of Dave's comments about smuppets visible to the reader). Resuming the LOHAC path, John arrives and realizes that his past self is about to ruin Dave and Jade's conversation. He pushes himself out of the way so the other two don't notice, restoring the timeline to the original version shown. **Three pages from the are retconned to include the two Johns. * The two Johns appear outside of the comic and stare at each other for an extended period of time. Meanwhile, the MSPA Reader (after imagining the two Johns making out) realizes that things will never stop keep happening and decides that he can no longer take it. * The future John tells the past John to go find Roxy, then hits him on the head, activating his teleportation. The past John arrives in the , appearing as a series of blue glitched pixels. * John uses his Breath powers to clear away the glitches and leaves, making the story branch readable for the first time. A confused Jake asks several questions about his current situation and Jane and Jade's turn to evil, but Jane refuses to discuss anything and threatens Jake with violence if he doesn't stop talking. * Jane tells Jake that they will be wed, and while Jane will inherit the Condesce's empire, Jake will have no authority and no purpose except to breed with Jane. The sobbing Jake begs for things to go back to the way they were before Sburb when his brain projection of Dirk appears next to him. Jake asks him for help, but the Dirk projection says that he can't help unless Jake masters his Hope powers (which would allow this Dirk to physically manifest), at which point he wouldn't need help to begin with. Jane questions Jake's talking to himself and becomes disgusted by his crying. She says that the only reason she has allowed Jake to live is because she thinks he's attractive. * John goes through the bars of Roxy's prison cell, and she has apparently created several cubes (enough to make a pyramid to hide in and try to concentrate) as well as a few pumpkins. She has yet to make the matriorb, but John offers to help, claiming he knows about god tier powers. * Roxy asks John how he went god tier, but he says she'd probably need to know some background to understand it. Roxy tells John he should just start telling a story, and John begins to review his experiences from his 13th birthday onward. Roxy wonders if John is boyfriend material, making a mental note to "mack on," while John, believing Roxy is getting bored, starts telling his story louder to make it more interesting. * John finishes his story and Roxy very briefly recaps her own session. She is intrigued by John's mentions of her mom in his story, so he explains the ectobiology behind the kids' births and how he had previously met Roxy while she was sleepwalking. He says hi to Roxy on Rose's behalf and they discuss their friends; Roxy mentions Calliope and how she is afraid will kill her. John says that he is willing to let Roxy use the Ring of Life to bring Calliope back to life. After saying goodbye, John turns into wind and leaves through the cell window. * Reassembling her pyramid, Roxy sits on top and conjures up an object that is part Matriorb and part Perfectly Generic Object. * John leaves Derse and returns to the battleship to retrieve the Ring of Life. Jake's house appears to have been rebuilt and extended. When he gets there, however, he is shocked to discover the ring is missing and gets zapped away again. Caliborn dismisses the story as uninteresting and the crudely-drawn curtains close on Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 1. Act 6 Act 6 Act 2 * Caliborn starts off homosuck again by introducing Dave, whom he refers to as the alpha male. Caliborn admits that he favors Dave, henceforth referred to as "Alpha Male", because of his taste in fine art and an exceptional taste in puppets. Alpha Male "whistles for his bitches", and Rose and Jade come to his room. Jane and Roxy soon follow suit. * Alpha Male and his "bitches" walk over to the Sburb starting devices in order to begin the game, but John suddenly zaps into the panel and examines his new surroundings with confusion. * John looks at his poorly drawn friends in extreme discomfort, saying " " as he pokes Alpha Male. * Caliborn hides John from view by covering him up with a curtain, then continues his story as Alpha Male and the girls prepare to enter the Medium and head up to the roof to observe the new planet they have arrived on. An unimpressed John comments on the story's poor artwork and factual inaccuracy. * Alpha Male and the girls stand on the roof and watch Alpha Male's house enter the Medium while John tries to join them but is thwarted by the poorly-drawn stairs and door. * Having forgotten what Alpha Male's land is supposed to be, Caliborn decides to make up a new one. He also decides to change his art style by having Lil Seb cut pictures out of the Ed Emberley book provided by Hussie and pasting them all over the landscape of the " " * Alpha Male whistles again and some stallions fall from the heavens. Each member of Alpha Male's party gets on a horse. Meanwhile, Caliborn makes a small speech reminiscent of the one }} just before dying. * Alpha Male and the girls ride their horses off of the roof and fall down to the ground below. John is disgusted by their idiocy but notices one unclaimed horse is still on the roof and decides that he might as well ride it. * John climbs onto the horse and rides it off the roof. Instead of falling, the horse starts to fly, so John steers it around several obstacles but (in a to Wizardy Herbert) eventually loses control and crashes into Roxy's horse. Roxy and both of the horses fall to pieces. * John gets up and walks over to Roxy's corpse, picking up her head and promising to make it up to the real her. He then angrily walks over to Alpha Male's group after noting unhappily that Caliborn is still at it. Meanwhile, Alpha Male encounters an obstacle in his path: a robot, a witch, and a wolf. He prepares to fight, but realizes he has forgotten his sword! * Alpha Male is given a chest full of the "pornographic" images Dirk drew for Caliborn. He forges a sword out of the smut and it makes John cry. * Alpha Male attacks the witch and scores a critical hit, but his horse receives massive damage. Both the witch and the horse die, and the wolf eats the horse's carcass and leaves. The robot goes crazy, leaving Alpha Male the victor of the fight. Trivia * implies that Act 6 Act 6 will contain six sub-sub-acts, with five sub-sub-intermissions between them; however, this is unconfirmed. If there are indeed six Caliborn-controlled sub-sub-acts, then, as Act 6 Act 6 Act 1 is dedicated to a satire of Act 1, each of the other acts leading up to the present may be satirized in turn. **If there are indeed six sub-sub-acts and five sub-sub-intermissions, Act 6 Act 6 will be divided into a total of 11 parts. *The progression arrows are now > instead of >, to represent the 8 player session. *Despite Rose having blown up her first gate back near the , seven of them are still shown above her planet. **It could be that the gates were recreated for the new session and didn't come along with her land. **Additionally, only five are shown above Jade's planet, but this is likely only for aesthetic reasons, namely not overlapping with Prospit, and has no actual significance. *Hovering over LOLAR on the causes the whole panel to glitch (or at least it did before the LOLAR path was added) * goes straight to . is a duplicate of 8269 and links to itself. *Caliborn draws Dave Alpha Male's apartment as , likely because he has never seen the undamaged Strider household. *Alpha Male's land has the abbreviation LOSHIT.